The Power of Woman

International Women’s Day 2020. We arrived at my friend Brie’s apartment in Crown Heights a little late. She answered the door and greeted us with hugs and kisses. Max and I walked into our very first ‘Clothing Swap.’ The party was in full swing.

“Hooked on a Feeling” played as we made our way down the little hallway and into the main living room. There, around a huge heap of clothes in the middle of the room, we were greeted by beautiful, brilliant, bright, shining women- all shapes, sizes, complexions, backgrounds, every hair and eye color, with diverse tastes and style, all personality types, night, day, and everything in between. Each was in some various stage of undress and dress, gleefully trying on cast away garment after garment, posing in the mirror, cheering her sisters on. We dumped our bag of cast offs onto the top of the heap and joined.

“Oh, Wow! That looks so good on you!” “Rachel, you have to take that! That is fire on you!” “Oh my gosh, Olivia, you got my hat! It’s perfect on you!” It was, quite simply, all love. Love of fun, of gathering, of each other, of fashion, love of parties, chocolate fondue and strawberries, good wine, and new outfits, love of female conversation about life, love, our bodies, our homes, our world, the globe.

I watched Maxey. I wasn’t sure how she would react to a room full of barely clad women dancing around a pile of clothes and hanging out in their underthings. But she jumped right in, feeling the power of woman. She stood there in a yellow dress with everyone telling her how amazing it was on her. Then a black floral dress, a spicy red top, a grey sweater. She was fine- initiation to this special club complete.

I stopped to watch her in a white top with an open back. The group paused to assist her, with one young woman telling her, “You have to see how pretty the back is. Is it OK if I just unhook your bra in the back and you can tuck it in and see?” Max, excited, said “yes.” Then, the woman who I had never met before, still don’t even know her name, did something remarkable that I am so grateful for. Before touching Max, very responsibly, very lovingly and direct, in an utterly primal and protective way, she stopped and asked her, “Is it OK if I touch you? Do you feel safe?” And she was SERIOUS. I was in awe. In absolute awe. How far we have come! How conscious we have become! How absolutely fierce we are!

We left the swap that night with a bag full of new things. New to us, anyway. We walked Olivia to her train and then headed a few more blocks to ours. Maxey, very dreamily said, “I wish I had friends like that.” I couldn’t help but smile. Because I know full well that having friends like that and being a friend like that comes with time. It comes from living. From seeing things, experiencing things, good and bad. Having friends like that comes with knowing who you are. She’s too young to understand all of that right now, and that’s OK. It is enough that she experienced the magic of it all, that she showed up and took part because it is now in her framework. And when she arrives at that place in time where she is surrounded by friends like that, and finds herself being a friend like that, she will recognize it. But most importantly, she will accept nothing less along the way.

Sincerest thanks to all my sisters in Crown Heights that Sunday night. You were teaching when you didn’t even realize it.

Love to you all. Take care out there.