Farther Along

I wake up and put my running clothes on. They need a good wash, but that will have to wait. Because our laundromat closed. The sign on the door says, “Closed Until Farther Notice. God Bless. Be Well.” Peering through the metal gate, I check for updates, for signs of life. But there are none.

It’s a rainy Saturday here in New York City, and I cannot believe where I’m at right now. This space, this place in time. In the throes of a freakin’ pandemic.

‘Farther,’ the misuse of the word brings a slight smile to my lips as I think of the proprietors. They speak very little English. Chinese-Americans, a young married couple and their little boy. I think he’s around 3. They are constantly chasing him around the machines. He is mischievous, and delightful. He is charming and extremely intelligent, the kind of child that you never forget. I can hear their laughter. I miss them. I send up a silent prayer for their safety. I don’t even know their names. When this is all over I will ask.

I head outside into the misty morning and run my three miles, punishing myself with the last 100 yards. Running hard, feeling my heart beat steady and fast, drawing my breath deep down into my lungs. Conscious of my health. Aware of my mortality.

What are we doing here, people? How did we get here? I can’t even tell you how many days have gone by since everything stopped. They fade into each other. I wake up. I run. I write. I read. I walk Char. I cook. I eat. I sleep. And start it all over again. No more hopping the train and crossing the Manhattan Bridge with my laptop, finding a place in the city to write, where I can order a strong cup of coffee and blend in with the scenery as I watch people go by- their walk, their mood or smile inspiring an entire trilogy.

The rain is lonely today. I miss my grown kids. I miss my grandfather. My aunt. My uncle. I miss my friends. I miss my neighbors. I miss my mom. Hell, I miss strangers! I walk Char to my car, parked around the way. I unlock the door and get in. For a split second I entertain just driving away. Just hitting the road and seeing where I end up. I had planned a weekend on the Connecticut coast before this all began. Maybe I’ll just drive to Texas… but then the grim reality sets in. There is nowhere to run. It’s everywhere.

I dial my mom and sit in my car talking with her for a solid hour while the rain falls outside. Sitting in the car never felt so good…

Finally we hang up, but I just can’t bring myself to get out right away. My mind wanders as I stare out the window. I think about the family from the laundromat again. It occurs to me that they got it right. ‘Farther’ is meant to measure actual distance, while ‘further’ is figurative.

Aah, yes, they got it right… there will be actual distance from where we used to be when all of this is over. We will be leaps and bounds from where we used to be. Never again taking for granted the fresh scent of clean running clothes, the sound of laughter coming from a family chasing a child through their American dream, or the feeling of that child running into your arms, a perfect stranger, in a mock attempt to escape his adoring parents. That magic, the utter magic of the day to day, never to be lost on us again.

So much farther along…

Take care of each other out there.